Perception is reality. Don’t argue about the facts. The facts only go so far. If you find yourself in a cyclical argument with someone, chances are values or perception is the issue. The discussion of values is for another day. Let us consider perceptions.
Perception is the kind and color of glasses of which we view the world. Some wear a little more subjective and paranoid type. These people walk into a room, a couple of people are discussing something in a corner, and they will conclude the discussion is around them. Others have a very black and white set of glasses. There is no gray, no emotion, and no flexibility. Each person has his/her own set of glasses. He has his own reality. She has her own perceptions. If you do not understand this dynamic in human relations, conflict will be confusing and frustrating for you. If you chose to become a student and understand the perceptions of those around you, the world is your oyster.
In mediation, I conduct interviews with the various parties involved in conflict. Sometimes I wonder if they even share the same planet. let alone were involved in a common point of contact in a conflict. When I understand the various perceptions, then I can begin to understand the vortex of the conflict. Now comes the difficult part . . . how to bring perceptions to a place of commonly held consensus and agreement. That is why mediation is fun, challenging, and rewarding. You will achieve amazing results in conflict resolution when you understand the perceptions of others. Discover your own set of glasses as well as what others are wearing. Peace.
