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I recently spoke for Seniors Homing Together.  The founders have a great concept of assisting to match those who have an extra room in a home to those who need affordable housing. These are a few of the concepts to consider in a roommate situation.  One, when considering a roommate, list the top ten qualities you desire.  Qualities like cleanliness, order, creativity, easy-going, interests, alcohol or tobacco, personality traits, honesty, etc.  You should have a mix of character traits and personal preferences.  You need to ask the proposed roommate to produce a similar top ten list.  Then, write down your deal breakers.  What would cause you to evict a roommate, or for you to move out?  The other person needs to write down his or her deal breakers as well.  Now, you are ready to sit down and compare lists.  Where do you mesh?  Where do you collide?  Can you understand and support each of your deal breakers?  The person who owns or leases the property should have a list of house rules as well.  After discussing all the above, you are ready to write a covenant of common space – how will we live together?  As a part of the covenant, you need to discuss the consequences of violation.  What happens when boundaries are overrun or moved?  This is the most critical piece and where many people struggle.  Something should be said, but often is not said, because people wish to avoid conflict.  The anger can build until one of the parties evicts the other or moves out.  It can seem this decision can come out of the blue because parties never discussed the consequences of covenant violations.  Community mediation centers often assist in these type of situations.  I am in the process of producing a helpful tool to aid in how to select, keep, and if needed, dismiss a roommate.

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