When conflict remains unresolved and escalates, things can get pretty ugly. Parties can say and do things they often regret. Something happens along the way from the casual disagreement to all out war . . . the original intent is lost. In other words, the person in which you are in conflict most likely did not stay up all night devising ways to make you miserable. Most people I know are good and begin at a good place. Their original intent was not malicious, in fact, quite the opposite, the starting place was often good or neutral. Conflict can often be resolved when parties return to the original intent and search for when communication went south.
Case in point. A husband and wife are arguing over something. They have forgotten the starting point of the conflict. They simply step into a pattern of conflict in which a small thing quickly escalates to a big thing. I find non-verbal communication plays a significant role in these types of conflict. All it takes is rolling the eyes, a deep sigh, or a glance at the ceiling, and then off to the crazy cycle of conflict. Either party can get off the carousel of conflict and ask the question, “what did you originally desire to say, do or want?” Often, parties can turn down the temperature and try to start again. Hopefully, this time they have identified the roadblocks to communication and can find resolution. Need some help? That is what marital or family mediation is all about – helping to find common ground and deal with unresolved conflict. Give us a call and we can give you a FREE consultation if mediation or therapy is the best option for you.
